I had been feeling depressed for a while, and had just spent an afternoon crying in my bed. Absolutely miserable. I can't even pinpoint what exactly it was - just a whole mess of things, life in general. I remember I looked out the window, and wondered how I could possibly completely change from such unhappiness to the happiness that I wanted?
There is a woman that I look up to so much, for so many things - for her positive attitude, for her confidence, her sparkling personality. I had heard her say, "Leave the disappointments of the past, where it needs to stay, in the past. We all make mistakes or have things happen that we wish we could undo, whether it was eating an entire cheesecake or feeling you failed at something. But know that you are free from those things, today, this week, this month, this year...are all chances to feel like you have a fresh start.Our pasts don't keep us marked as failures, but any moment we can choose success, and all paths to success are filled with the stepping stones of failures. Let's make this year different, lets make this year the year for awesome change. The year to stand up for your dreams, the year to live bigger, do things that scare you, be the you that wants to shine from your heart, try new things, be bolder, happier, and braver...we CAN DO IT!"
It made me remember that every day I wake up, I have the choice to be happy, or to let life get me down. Things are gonna happen no matter what - and it sounds cliche, but it is how you decide to deal with them that determines whether you are a happy person or not.
That moment I decided to change. Change the way I was looking at life, some of my habits, and choose to be happy about everything. And it worked. I can't even remember a time in my life I have been more happy, more blessed, and feel overwhelmed each day and just have to thank God for the beautiful life I have.
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The human being is one of the most amazing creations of all time. So unique and detailed and complex, more than we could ever understand. But I think one of the most mind blowing things about us, is our amazing ability to completely change. It is our choice, and we can completely turn around everything we do, for whatever reason we have. Ultimately, no one else in this world has jurisdiction over what we choose to do or become. And if we don't like something, or we find something new, we can change.
In preparing for my mission, one of the things I have been thinking about so much lately is this change, this conversion. To convert means to change in form, character, or function. It is so personal, and so internal. Often this term is associated with religious meaning, but it doesn't always have to be - you can change anything, whether its the way you eat, your hair color, or what you believe in. However, the religious context of this word is something that I find so fascinating.
Often times we hear people say, "Yeah, I was born into the church." Of course we all know what they mean - their parents are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and they were born into the covenant. However, I think this phrase gives off a little bit of a misconception - no one is born a member of the church. No one is born believing everything their parents believe. And they never can be fully committed to the church solely because their parents believe. Everyone is a convert to the church - everyone must go through this conversion that we always hear about.
I believe to convert means to change your heart and your mind, to take upon you the name of Christ, never again desiring to do evil, but to do good continually. When we are baptized into the church, we are definitely changed by the actual laying on of hands and receiving of the Holy Ghost. But it is so much deeper than this! You can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost without being born of the spirit. This is an ordinance. We need to also have a spiritual transformation. The spirit changes the very nature of the individual. They will receive Christ's imagine in their countenance and feel to sing the song of redeeming love (Alma 5:14,26). We will then have an educated conscience, educated desires, and educated passions.
Mosiah 5 is stellar, and key to understanding conversion. This chapter is part of King Benjamin's speech to his people. He truly cared about his people - if you read the entire speech, he took so many measures to make sure they heard and understood him, and really had the chance to believe. We can all be missionaries in the sense that King Benjamin was - everyone on the planet at least deserves a chance to hear this gospel and believe in it. This is why I want to serve a mission. Because I believe that everyone deserves the chance that I had.
VERSE 2 - "Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken to us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."
VERSE 7 - And now, because of this covenant which ye have made, ye shall be called the Children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith in his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters.
This is so key. I am fascinated by the idea of being born again of the spirit, and that is exactly what happens when we are converted. Being born again, or 'spiritually begotten' of Christ also comes with this new parentage - we become sons and daughters of Christ. Recall Ether 3:14. "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe in my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."
VERSE 8-9 - And under this head ye are made free, and there is no other head whereby ye can be made free. There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ... And...whoever doeth this shall be found on the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ.
There is power in the name of Christ. Demons recognize it and tremble at that name.
And now for my favoritest verses of the entire chapter.
VERSE 12-13 - I say unto you, I would that ye should remember to retain the name written always in your hearts, that ye are not found on the left hand of God, but that ye hear and know the voice by which ye shall be called, and also, the name by which he shall call you. For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?
Wow. This makes me think, "Do I really know Christ? Will I know him when I see him, and hear him when he calls me? Will I recognize his voice? Can I discern his voice from the voice of the the evil one?". I believe that our sins can be blessing in disguise, because as we repent and utilize the Atonement, we come to know and understand Christ. This can also be done through service to him. It must be the goal of our lives to be able to recognize his voice when he calls us.
VERSE 15 - Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord Omnipotent may seal you his.
The power to change is something that we may never come to truly appreciate. It is SO powerful. And after changing ourselves, think of the power you hold to change someone else's mind. This is what missionary work is all about. The power to change peoples hearts and minds, and show them the potential they really have, through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. I love this gospel, and I love missionary work. I love that I hold the power to change someone for the better. We all do. By changing their mind, you will change they way the live, think, and act, and even what they may become. This ability is unmatched, it is greater than any super power. You can wish to fly, or to be invisible; but to change someone else's entire world for eternity is truly a power of the Gods. And maybe that someone is yourself.
You can change. People can change you, and in return you can change others for the good. I am so grateful for wonderful examples, because I can definitely say I have changed to be free from my failures, choose success, I have chosen to live my dreams, and have done things that scared me, and I am now the ME that wants to shine out from my heart.
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